Bye... for now.

I’ve been torn on how I could capture the last day with Kara or if I even needed to. But the story here felt unfinished and something tells me she’d want me to share a little bit.

On Tuesday, Jan. 27, I posted a blog telling everyone we were going to transition to hospice care. Six hours after they arrived in our home is when she took her last breath. It’s not what any of us really expected but I will say it’s exactly what we prayed for. From the beginning we asked God to bring her peace and not make her suffer. As sad as I am, I was relieved for her.

I knew we were nearing the end based on her lack of appetite, limited ability to speak and changes in her bathroom routine. I had always pictured hospice coming in and Kara enjoying their visits. I thought we’d have at least a couple weeks of hospice care, that I’d stay by her side while she slept and slowly see her drift further away. That’s what I was mentally preparing for, anyway. I thought her sleep habits would be the final indicator of how close she was to transitioning but her sleep schedule never really changed.

I was eager for hospice to arrive and help make her comfortable. Although she would never complain she was in pain, as the day waned on my anxiety steadily increased. Originally hospice wasn’t going to be able to come until Thursday. We expressed urgency and they gave us a window between 5–6 p.m. that evening.

There was nothing in particular Kara was doing that Tuesday that made me think the time was near but I remember when 4 p.m. hit I was just a ball of nerves waiting for them. It was like my body knew. As we got closer to 6 p.m., the hospice nurse on call let us know she was running behind and wouldn’t be there until 6:45. She tried to talk us through giving Kara a dose of morphine over the phone but my hands trembled and I didn’t feel confident in the dose. I wanted to bring her relief but I just couldn’t get myself to do it. I texted my sister Michelle and asked when she’d be getting to our house. For the first time in this whole journey, I felt like everything was out of my control.

Kara still managed to ask Michelle what she did today when she arrived.

Michelle was able to contact the nurse who would be assigned to Kara and she was over in a flash. She assessed her and helped us get the first couple doses of morphine on board. I could tell by the look on her face that she was going to have to share difficult news. But as she calmly introduced herself to Kara and shared with me that she had read all my blogs, I felt comforted knowing she knew Kara’s story. I got out the Team Kara bracelets and she picked one out and told Kara thank you… and Kara said so sweetly, “You’re welcome.” I think that’s the last words I heard her say.

Carrie told us we didn’t have long, so we called Aunt Kerri. She arrived. And then Roger. Kara was out of it and didn’t give him her typical welcome. I was sad for Roger but then I flashed back to the night before when we talked to him on the phone. Kara didn’t have the energy to talk but she still wanted to call so I took over asking all the questions I knew she would have. She listened intently during the whole call and when we went to hang up she cheerfully said: “Byeeee,” and then a pause with a breath in and as she exhaled, out came a soft, “for now.” I remember it like a scene from a movie because it was so beautiful.

Shortly after, Deacon Jeff walked through the door and Kara lifted her hand to give him a little wave. I was relieved and amazed by her. Then Troy arrived. Our family was in the throes of working with the nurse to get the dosage right between the morphine and the Valium to ease her breathing and bring her heart rate down. I’m forever grateful that Michelle was there for this because I’m not confident I could have managed that part. I was able to just be by Kara, caress her sweet head and tell her all the things I thought she needed to hear before she passed.

I remember telling her that her only job now was to rest. That we were going to be okay... even though I couldn't actually imagine a time I would ever be okay after this. At midnight I told her, “Happy Wednesday… it’s hump dayyyy. We made it through another day.” I told her she was going to paint the most beautiful skies and would be the brightest star. I promised her I would never stop talking about her, that her legacy would live on and that I would always, always carry her light. And I told her for the millionth time that she was my person, my companion and I just knew that one day we would be together again.

And then she left us… at 12:34.

There were so many people who loved her deeply and would have wanted one more moment. Kara never liked to see anyone sad or crying so maybe this was just how it was meant to be. I thought I’d have more time to hype up Heaven and explain the beauty of her getting to go be Home with Jesus. I try to rest in knowing that her soul knew. With an angel like her, maybe none of that needed to be said.

Many of you have asked if I’ll be taking this website down. The answer is no. I’m going to keep it intact for awhile. This space holds Kara’s story and that feels important to preserve.

So many of you have also been incredibly kind about my writing and have encouraged me to keep going. I’m not entirely sure what my next chapters look like for my life or for my words but I do know this site will remain centered on Kara. I may add another entry here, if it feels right. But for those who’d like to continue following along, when I’m ready to write again, I’ve created a Substack where I’ll share future reflections and updates when the time feels right: https://alishaespey.substack.com

For those who weren’t able to be with us that day or who have asked to hear the words I shared in remembering Kara, I’m also including the video of her service. It was one of the most difficult but greatest honors of my life to stand up and speak about my sister to try, in some small way, to put into words what she meant to all of us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vte1CG3HpRo

Outside of the eulogy, her obituary was the most difficult thing I've ever had to write. If you missed it, you can find it here: https://www.snellzornig.com/obituaries/kara-espey/obituary

Thank you for loving her.

Thank you for loving us.

Her light doesn’t end here.

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If You’re New Here

Hi, I’m Alisha - Kara’s sister and forever advocate.

This space began as a way to document my sister Kara’s experience living with Stage 4 triple-negative breast cancer. After her passing in January 2026, it has become a place to preserve her story, honor her life and hold the community that formed around her.

Kara’s joy, humor and curiosity created a ripple effect far beyond what any of us could have imagined. If you’re here, you’re part of that ripple now too.

Thank you for loving her. Thank you for loving our family.

And of course… Go Hawks. 💛

Team Kara Memorial Fund

Gifts made in Kara’s memory support legacy efforts carried forward in her name. https://givebutter.com/teamkara

Continue Following Alisha

This site will remain as Kara’s story. When I’m ready to write again, future reflections and updates will be shared here: https://alishaespey.substack.com