All Posts

We were flooded with messages this week and I am so grateful to everyone who reached out. I apologize for taking a few days before writing an update. Between Kara’s unexpected hospital stay and taking a little time off, I needed a moment to catch up. Kara also had an oncologist appointment on Thursday so I wanted to wait and share a fuller update once we had more information and a plan in place. Kara’s labs improved significantly overnight while she was in the hospital and I

I feel like every day is a chance to morph or shatter and today’s healing culture romanticizes that journey. I don’t feel like I have a choice in who shows up in each moment. All I know is that no matter how defeated I feel or how much my exterior breaks, suddenly there’s a new version of me underneath. It’s like a Russian doll. And I’m pleasantly surprised anything is still appearing at all. Today, I’m glad a new version of me showed up as I walked into the house and heard m

One year (and one day) since her diagnosis. It’s like my life split without warning and I was forced onto a road no one would ever choose. A journey full of bumps, roadblocks and detours. We’ve seen some scary shit along the way and moments of so much beauty, too. It’s like being on a road trip with her that I never want to end but I’d be lying if I said it’s been anything but a miserable vacation. I wanted to write something on this anniversary but I didn’t have the energy t

We made it to Florida. Physically, at least. Mentally… I’m on another planet. I’ve been hesitant to write because I feel like what I’m about to say might disappoint people, or at the very least weigh heavy on you and I never want to be the person who brings darkness to someone else’s day. But here's the raw update from the sunshine state. I keep thinking about the version of me who last stood on this stretch of beach, that girl who didn’t yet know what the next 11 months woul

I can’t remember a year where I wasn’t sitting on our two kitchen counter stools next to Kara during Thanksgiving meal prep. We’ve learned so many cooking lessons from that spot over the years and when Mom gets stressed, Kara is always quick with reassurance, directions and cheerleading her through the next task. Kara is also the designated taste tester. Today, as Mom picked up the turkey to put it in the oven and mentioned how heavy it was, Kara didn’t hesitate: “YOU CAN DO

There’s this social media trend going around: before the rabbit got us. And honestly, the ones I’ve seen are heartbreaking. People sharing the exact moment before life changed in the worst way. When it popped up on my feed last week, I just froze. As I lay in Kara's bed with her, I often stare at the calendar I made her last Christmas, the biggest photo in the collage this month is a picture of Kara and me before the rabbit got us… Festival of Trees Parade Day. And it was a

I’m typically quiet about my relationship, so it feels strange to write about it on Kara’s blog. But in a year where I've shared so much in this space, it didn't feel right to not reflect here on Roger's birthday. In a world that’s always been filled with big emotions and chaos, Roger is the quiet, the calm and the steady. My one requirement for a serious relationship wasn’t small, it meant finding someone who could love Kara and me as a package deal. That’s not an easy ask a

About a month ago, Gretchen reached out to me personally. I was honored that she took an interest in Kara’s story and wanted to interview us for the Quad-City Times. Per usual, my mind raced. First, I had to sit with the emotions of having a story in the paper that I wish wasn’t our story in the first place. It reminded me of when I was salty about designing Team Kara t-shirts because I didn’t want a constant visual reminder that she has cancer and now it’s all I wear. In pri

Hypervigilance is not a new state of being for me. Maybe it’s C-PTSD, being neurospicy, something written in the stars for an empath… or a mix of everything. All I know is that it’s a familiar space and my body often feels trapped in it. It’s literally made me chronically ill, a trip to the Mayo Clinic in my early 30s confirmed fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and the only prescription was essentially to figure out how to calm the f down. Easier said than done… especial

Cooking together has become our quiet way of holding on to normal, a small ritual that reminds us we can still create something comforting even when life feels unpredictable. Kara keeps me moving, I've been keeping the oven warm and together we make it through one Sunday (and one casserole) at a time.

I’ve held strong for every single doctor’s appointment but I lost it for a considerable amount of time this week during a conversation...

Kara got an iPhone for her birthday last November, and while she’s a social butterfly who loves getting messages and calls from so many...

I’m supposed to be in DC this week for the International Downtown Association conference. My boss texted me as he boarded the plane:...

It’s been a while and I hardly know how to catch Team Kara up on everything that has unfolded. Maybe I’ll just start with the present....

Note: This space has been a home for sharing Kara’s journey but today I need to place another piece of my heart here. Grief does not...

Birthdays hit differently these days, just like everything else in our lives, I suppose. But Kara loves a good celebration, and she was...

It’s a common question after a festival. And a fair one with AC, which isn’t just a music fest - - - it’s a comedy fest, a film fest, a...

Genuinely hard to put into words how meaningful the Indiana Fever game was. As much as I’ve been writing lately about all the special...

My little broken heart mended with a few stitches last night watching Kara take in my latest work on the big screen! Leading up to the...

Every holiday is a total mindfuck for me. They always have been. My hypervigilant brain won’t shut off. It cycles through the emotional...