Being where your feet are

None of this is easy. I keep trying to train my brain to focus on the positives. Putting it to practice is another story.

Kara has always had an obsession with the days of the week and the calendar. I’ve given her a personalized calendar for Christmas for as long as I can remember. It’s one of her favorite gifts and all I could think about as she opened it this year is, God I hope she gets to flip each of these pages to the next month. 

When the sun goes down she will always excitedly say, “another day is gone!” As she eyes the upcoming days and weeks ahead, sometimes it’s like she’s wishing the days away, we tell her come on Kara, don’t rush us. It hits a little different now, like how each day we make through should be celebrated. How the days we are given really are a gift, and how blessed we will be as we reach those upcoming days, weeks, and months. 

The calendar will continue to be a prominent fixture in our lives because it’s very important to Kara. While the future holds much uncertainty and anxiety - I’m just going to try to remind myself to be where my feet are. 

Today they happen to be in an oncology waiting room because Kara could only have one person with her preparing for the PET scan. It’s an awful and lonely feeling as I await her return.

But I see the bell in the corner and try to imagine the day she will get to ring it. And the sun is shining for the first time in many many days. That the bright light is comforting at a time that feels so dark and depressing - a reminder that even in the darkest of seasons, the light can overcome it. I’ll be holding on to the light today, knowing it will guide us through even the darkest of moments. 

Forever grateful for your prayers and support.

Alisha