Waiting for morning

We were flooded with messages this week and I am so grateful to everyone who reached out. I apologize for taking a few days before writing an update. Between Kara’s unexpected hospital stay and taking a little time off, I needed a moment to catch up. Kara also had an oncologist appointment on Thursday so I wanted to wait and share a fuller update once we had more information and a plan in place.

Kara’s labs improved significantly overnight while she was in the hospital and I am so, so grateful for that. Especially because the ER doctor initially told us her labs were all over the place and her scans didn’t look good. He suggested it was likely disease progression, even mentioning the mets on her sternum and the possibility that her heart was having to work much harder because of it.

Hearing those words was absolutely gut-wrenching. I can still see my mom sitting in the corner of the room, absorbing it all, tears rolling down her face and saying, “This is the worst news that we could hear.” And even though I’ve spent the last year trying to emotionally prepare myself for hard conversations like this, I was still in disbelief. I know Kara’s cancer is aggressive and all cancer is unpredictable but I couldn’t reconcile how, in just three weeks, things could have progressed to that degree.

So I asked the doctor if he had Kara’s most recent PET scan from 11/24 and what he was seeing now that was drastically different. That’s when we learned he didn’t have the most recent scan. He also hadn’t yet spoken with her oncologist. I took a breath, mentally shelved the news he’d given us and made the decision not to react. When he left the room I tried to convince my mom to not spiral before we had all the information.

Once the ER doctor connected with Dr. Aggarwal, he returned and let us know Kara would be admitted overnight. The plan was fluids, monitoring, repeat labs in the morning and reassessment. It was very reasonable for me to believe she was dehydrated and I prayed hard that by morning she would be on the mend. So we waited for morning.

Not long after I shared on Facebook that Kara had been admitted, it was like a bat signal went up. We were instantly surrounded by love, prayers and visitors. Kara sent me out to get her Dairy Queen and by the time I returned, Tami, our homecare nurse, was already there. A very comforting face to walk into. Kara scarfed down most of her burger, fries and ice cream (a very good sign). Then Dad’s friend Jan stopped by, then Roger, then Aunt Kerri.

As Kara relaxed and dozed off, we sent Dad home while Mom and I tried to settle in for the night. Mom insisted I go home too, using the very logical argument that one of us needed to be well-rested and clear-headed the next day. I struggled to leave because I had promised Kara that I wouldn’t but she woke briefly, Mom asked if I could go home to sleep and Kara said yes. I promised her hash browns in the morning and Mom good coffee. I set my alarm for 4 a.m., and by 5 I was back.

Kara was already awake and happy as can be. She was excited for the shift change, she loves greeting people as they come on for a new day. She handed out Team Kara bracelets to some of the staff and she was pleasantly surprised to see a few nurses wearing Team Kara t-shirts. We are so incredibly blessed by this community. You wrap your arms around us and make us feel so deeply loved and supported.

Say what you will about the medical system (and believe me, I have my grievances) but there is a special place in heaven for nurses. Our stay at Mercy in Clinton was one of the best overnight hospital experiences we’ve had. Those nurses went above and beyond, not only caring for Kara but allowing Mom and me to simply be her mom and sister, not her caretakers. That means more than I can properly put into words.

By morning, Kara’s labs looked so much better and by afternoon she was back home in her recliner. We had to miss her originally scheduled oncology appointment but thanks to our friend Tina, she helped us reschedule it quickly for the next morning. Kara was happy to see her doctor and excited to talk about her Florida trip.

We had a lot to debrief, including information from the oncologist we saw twice in Florida. That doctor is strongly recommending a pathology restain and review, but our oncologist here doesn’t see a benefit. There are also treatment options that were mentioned in Florida that aren’t currently on the table here. I asked if the two doctors could connect but there was some reluctance. I don’t know who’s right or wrong and honestly, I don’t care. I just want the peace of mind of knowing nothing is being missed. I never want to look back on this time and wonder if I left anything on the table that could have given Kara more good days.

In the meantime, insurance quickly approved Kara’s third-line treatment. We’ll be starting an oral chemotherapy pill called Xeloda. Tami will also be back on the schedule to administer fluids at home, which is desperately needed because we struggle to get Kara to drink. One day this week I went to work and came home to discover my parents hadn’t even attempted it yet.

It’s a struggle all around. Kara cries, throws her hands at me and makes a whole production out of it. One night she hit the cup and spilled a little bit of water on herself. I briefly fantasized about dumping the cup over her head, dismissed the thought… and then when she slapped at me again, I dumped the water on her chest. Whoops.

She said, “Oh no! I’m all wet.”

I said, “It’s okay, it’s just water.”

She whined about it.

I asked, “Whose fault is this?”

She replied, “Mine.”

Then she asked for help. I walked her to the bedroom, helped her change into pajamas, refilled her cup and she drank it. I laughed to myself at the theatrics it took to get just a tiny bit of hydration.

Other than that, there’s not much new to report. Kara enjoyed using a walker in the hospital so I ordered one overnight. She’s already using it regularly and walking farther and more comfortably than I’ve seen her in months. She even walked all the way back to the infusion room in DeWitt to see Mikayla’s Christmas tree!

Any movement makes me happy but when she’s walking, she has this glow and the biggest smile on her face. She went out for her social group last night and that felt like a huge win! She’s so proud of herself. And so am I.

She has asked me about what the doctor said in the hospital. I told her that her body needed more fluids. And she said no, what did he say about my future? I reassure her that we are making a plan and will always be here to help her.

The Xeloda should arrive Monday, and we’ll begin the new regimen Monday afternoon... one week on, one week off. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

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If You're New Here

Hi, I’m Alisha, Kara’s sister and biggest advocate. Kara was diagnosed with Stage 4 Triple-Negative Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (TNBC) in December 2024. Her cancer spread to her bones, liver and other areas, making this an incredibly difficult and uncertain journey.

Despite it all, Kara’s light still shines so brightly. She’s full of love, giggles and endless positivity. This blog is where I share updates on her fight, the highs and lows and the incredible community rallying around her.

Thank you for being here, for your love, support and prayers. We need them more than ever. 💛 And of course, Go Hawks!

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