You Can't Coach Heart

None of these blogs have been easy to write, but this one feels particularly difficult because I don’t think words could ever fully capture the gratitude I feel.

I’ve always known how lucky I am to love my work family the way that I do. We genuinely care about each other, and since Kara’s diagnosis, that care has shown through in ways I never could have imagined.

Kara has been extra concerned about my work schedule lately—she doesn’t want me to leave her side. And honestly, I don’t want to leave her either. The week we traveled to Mayo Clinic and then to Florida was not an ideal time to miss work. We were in the middle of executing a major winter festival, onboarding a new employee, and—on top of everything—down a team member from a serious bowling accident (oh, Tony).

Yet, without hesitation, Ryan Jantzi stepped in, and so many others offered to help. I never thought it would be possible for me to step away during Icestravaganza, but my team didn’t let me even question it. They handled everything so I could focus on Kara, and I will never stop being grateful for that.

Today, I walked back into the office for the first time in weeks. It was gut-wrenching. Kara has been sick for days, and this morning, she asked me to stay home. Do you know how hard it is to walk away when sweet Kara is asking you to stay? Soul crushing.

Jantzi came into my office to check on me, and like so many others, he asked how I was doing. The truth? I’m terrible. And I can’t imagine answering any other way right now.

Then, he told me something that left me speechless.

For weeks, behind my back, Jantzi had been secretly fundraising for me. He gave me a Coach Jantzi speech, explaining how many people care and handed me a card, demanding I use the funds for self-care.

He sent me the list of donors. The majority are people I have worked with. People I admire, people I have leaned on, people who showed up for me in a way I never saw coming.

And all I could do is cry.

While I have a flexible work environment and an incredibly supportive team, I’ve been so anxious about what happens when my vacation time runs out. I have FMLA available, but how would I pay for expenses without a paycheck? That fear has been weighing on me.

Now, because of this generosity, I have a safety net. Should the time come when I need to take unpaid leave to be with Kara, I have some relief.

I did not expect this. I still can’t wrap my head around it. As Jantzi likes to say, you can't coach heart... and I could not be more grateful to for all the love you guys have shown.

To everyone who has sent a message, mailed a card, gifted something thoughtful, or simply lifted us in prayer—thank you. I feel the love. Kara feels the love.

Our village is strong and everything that is good in this world.

A special shoutout to the GoFundMe donors who have contributed toward my self-care fund.

💛 Marcy Hyder💛 Jessica Webb💛 Kyle Carter💛 Travis Unterzuber💛 Terri Smith💛 Molly Koenig💛 Cindy Bruhn💛 Jennifer Walker💛 Gwen Tombergs💛 Alejandra Salaverria💛 Dave Herrell💛 Erin Platt💛 Anonymous💛 Maureen Schulte💛 Steven Baumann💛 Aiden Landman💛 Anonymous💛 Kassidy Johnson💛 Jack Cullen💛 Tami Petsche💛 Marshal McDermott💛 Anonymous💛 Jillian McCleary💛 Kate Dale💛 Tyler Power💛 Kristin Berry

I will never forget this kindness. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.